Ranma Freaked Out
by Madcat
Summary: Here's Freakazoid.
1. Default Chapter

Ranma Freaked Out  
05-01-01  
By Madcat08  
  
  
[Clarification]  
  
  
Ranma 1/2 is owned by other people and I will earn no profit from their creation. Freakazoid is owned by Steven Speilburg (all hail his grandeur). I will earn nothing off his creation.   
  
  
  
Prologue:  
  
A dark figure seated figure is slowly revealed against a pitch-black background. The figure is eventually revealed to an older Caucasian male with a black hair and a pair of wire rim classes. As the camera begins to zoom in on the figure it is revealed the figure is tied to the chair by a mass of ropes.   
  
"Good evening folks, I am Steven Speilburg. I have been asked by the author to present this work to you." Speilburg then mouths the words, 'help me'. While looking at something in the corner of his eye. "Tonight with great pride we will be presenting a Ranma/Freakazoid crossover." Steven then quickly mouths the words 'he is insane'. "This story is the tale of a young man given an extraordinary gift and the perils that come along with his gift." He then mouths the words, 'call the police'. "And now to our story," he says as the camera begins to fade out.  
  
  
FREAKAZOID  
(Richard Stone/Tom Ruegger)   
  
Super teen extraordinaire  
  
  
Freakazoid, Freakazoid  
Runs around in underwear  
  
Freakazoid, Freakazoid  
Rescues Furinken High  
  
Freakazoid, Freakazoid  
Unless something better's on TV  
  
Freakazoid, Freakazoid  
His brain's overloading  
It has a chocolate coating  
Textbook case for Sigmund Freud  
  
Freakazoid, Freakazoid  
Check out Ranma  
Martial arts jock  
Went surfin' on the Internet  
And was zapped to cyberspace   
He turned into the Freakazoid  
Who's strong and super-quick  
He drives the villains crazy  
'Cause he's a lunatic  
His home base is the Freak-a-lair  
  
  
Freakazoid, Fricassee  
Floyd the barber cuts his hair  
  
Freakazoid, Chimpanzee  
Rides around in the Freak-mobile  
  
Freakazoid, Freakazoo  
Hopes to make a movie deal  
  
Freaka-me, Freaka-you  
He's here to save the nation  
So stay tuned to this station  
If not, we'll be unemployed  
  
Freakazoid, Freakazoid  
  
Freakazoid!   
  
  
  
  
Announcer: Now to our story...  
  
In a hot and humid room in Furinken High school a figure hunched over a computer. The lone figure was sitting in a computer lab alone and attempting to start a homework assignment. The figure pushed his pigtail over one shoulder and stared at the piece of paper in his hand. The note he'd scribbled in class was smudged and hard to read.  
  
"It looks like a six to me," Ranma mutter to himself. He shrugged his shoulders and then punched in the forty character web site addresses. In most timelines Ranma would leave the computer lab with the wrong homework assignments, but not this time line. The room was filled with a flash of blinding light and a scream. When the flash disappeared, Ranma was no longer in the room.  
  
Four hours later a flash of light filled the room again and a still figure was left on the school's floor. Ranma had returned to Furinken but, how would he be changed by his experience.  
  
About midnight Ranma Saotome returned to the Tendo household. Two angry fathers and a violent tomboy assaulted him as he entered the house. Ranma quickly entered the world of dreams with the assistance of a large wooden mallet. Ranma was left in peace after Nabiki clean out his wallet and the household retired to their rooms for the night.  
  
  
Chapter 1: Here's Freakazoid  
  
  
The next morning at five A.M...  
  
  
Genma Saotome awoke and to a weight on his chest. His blurry vision revealed a man in a red jumpsuit with a blue face. The man says, "You've got a boogie in your nose."   
  
Genma immediately throws the strange man off his chest and into a nearby wall. Genma jumps to his feet with surprising agility and takes up a defensive stance.  
  
The crumpled blue man groaned, "Ouch!" The figure then disappeared with a clap of thunder and reappeared next to Genma. "You want to wrestle?"  
  
Before the stunned Genma could reply the figure hand him pinned to the floor. The blue man sat on Genma's back with ease. "Come on say it," the stranger said as he applied more pressure to Genma arm.  
  
"What," Genma cried as he attempted to ignore the intense pain of the hold he was in.  
  
"Say uncle," the blue man said.  
  
"Uncle," Genma cried!  
  
"Now say, momma moses makes minature meat pies."   
  
"Momma moses makes minat... met pies. Momma moses mates..." Genma said as tried repeatedly to say the tongue twister. "I can't do it!"  
  
  
  
"What's that," the blue man said as he released Genma. Genma imediately began crawling for the door.  
  
  
  
The blue figure streaked [ran really fast] from the Tendo house leaving a blue blur behind him.   
  
Somewhere far away...  
  
A small humanoid figure sat in front of the Masaki shrine singing to itself.   
  
  
  
A blue man stopped in front of the figure leaving a trail of dust in his wake. "Will you please stop that," the man yelled. "You are giving me a headache! Some people," he muttered before streaking off into the distance.  
  
  
Announcer: We interrupt this program to bring you an important announcement. I am actually a deep voiced woman. We now return you to our program currently in progress.  
  
Genma: "Some blue skinned man just attacked me in my sleep!"  
  
Soun: "You sure it wasn't a dream?"  
  
Genma: "I couldn't have imagined a blue skinned man in red pajamas with a large F on his chest."  
  
Nabiki: "He's right. He's too stupid to have imagined something like that.  
  
Kasumi: "Oh my! Mr. Saotome has gone insane."  
  
Genma: "He's real!"   
  
Kasumi: "Well, of course he's real to you, but that's because you're probably insane.   
  
Soun: "My best friend is a raving psycho." Soun immediately had a breakdown and began crying.  
  
Ranma: "What's all the noise about?" He said as he yawned in the doorway.  
  
Soun: "Your father is a loony!" With that he hugged Ranma and continued to cry.  
  
Ranma: "That's not anything new." Ranma's voice is muffled from being hugged into Soun's chest.   
  
Genma: "I'm not crazy!"  
  
Kasumi: "Since Mr. Saotome is crazy shouldn't we contact Dr. Tofu."  
  
Soun: "Your right! I'll do that right now!"  
  
Kasumi: "We should secure Mr. Saotome so he dosen't hurt himself in the mean time." With that she pulls out a large roll of duck tape.  
  
Genma: "Now wait a minute!"  
  
  
  
Kasumi: "Thank you Akane."  
  
Akane: "Don't mention it." As she puts away her mallet.  
  
Ranma: "I'll take care of this." He smiles as he takes the duck tape from Kasumi.  
  
Akane: "Well hurry up or we'll be late for school." With that she stormed out the room.  
  
  
Announcer: Elsewhere a major plot elements where unfolding.  
  
Voice 1: "I tell you there is a critical flaw with our newest computer chip."  
  
Voice 2: "What flaw?"  
  
Voice 1: "A flaw that if someone enters a certain sequence of keys, while on the internet. They could be sucked into the internet and become a super being. If not driven completely insane from all the useless drivel on the internet.  
  
Voice 2: "Really, what is the sequence?"  
  
Voice 1: "This string of number on this piece of paper."  
  
Voice 2: "Thank you you are no longer needed."  
  
Voice 1: "What?"  
  
Voice 2: "The author of this fanfic doesn't require your continued presence." Goodbye."  
  
Voice 1: "Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!"  
  
Voice 2: "Its good to be the villain. Wait a minute... this is a shopping list! I'll have to go with plan B to conquer the world and release another bug filled version of Windows."   
  
  
Announcer: Back at the Tendo dojo...  
  
Akane: "Ranma no baka!"  
  
  
  
Ranma: "Tooommmbbboooyyy!!!" He cried as the mallet blow sent him into the air.  
  
  
  
A screaming Ranma slams into the Furinken high school pool.   
A wet Ran-chan pulls herself from the pool. Before staggering to the boy's bathroom.   
Ranma pulled his head from under the stream of hot water. He looked into the mirror above the sink as he wrung water out of his hair.   
  
Ranma: "Another wonderful week in the life of Ranma Saotome," he mutters. He fails to notice a blue face in the mirror.  
  
Freakazoid: "Hi!"  
  
Ranma: "What the..." Ranma disappears in a flash of light leaving Freakazoid standing in front of the sink. Another flash of light and a shaken Ranma is left in front of the mirror. The blue figure in the mirror remained.  
  
Freakazoid: "You really should relax before you have a heart attack." The voice from the mirror said to Ranma.  
  
Ranma: "Who the hell are you?"  
  
Freakazoid: "I'm your alter-ego."  
  
Ranma: "You mean like my cursed form?"  
  
Freakazoid: "Sort of."  
  
Ranma: "So how do I get rid of you?"  
  
Freakazoid: "You don't like me. I'm being rejected."   
  
Ranma: "Hey stop that. Its just my life is complicated enough as is."  
  
Freakazoid: "Hey as me you can beat up Genma, whenever you want?"  
  
Ranma: "Tempting but..."  
  
Freakazoid: "How about avoiding hostile fiancees?"  
  
A stunned Ranma stared at the bathroom mirror. His right eye twitches slightly. A wide grin slowly spreads across his face.   
  
  
Announcer: Elsewhere...  
  
Kuno stood in front of Furinken high lost in his own world. "Ah my Akane Tendo, I will overcome the foul Saotome and free you." The students and staff of Furinken were beginning to filter into the school and ignored the male heir of the house Kuno. Unfortunately for him, he fails to notice a blue skinned person behind him. "For I am the blue thunder of Furinken High."  
  
Unfortunately for Kuno, he didn't realize he was being attacked before hearing two words. "Super Wedgeee!!!" Before Kuno could react, he had his underwear pulled painfully over his head and hooked under his chin. Kuno was forced to spend several seconds removing his underwear from his head. After doing so he was stunned to find a six foot fall blue man in tights standing in front of him.  
  
"Who are you vile demon," Kuno demand in a very high pitch tone of voice. "How dare you assualt the 'Blue Thunder of Furinken' High. I will punish you for your arrogance!  
  
"Really? What are you going to do spout more bad poetry?" Freakazoid asked leaning forward.  
  
"You dare mock the noble heir of the house Kuno," the slightly abused Kendoist yelled!  
  
"No. This is mocking." Freakazoid's form vanishes in a cloud of dust for several seconds. The dust soon settles revealing Freakazoid dressed in kimono with two puppets on his hands. The puppet on his left hand looked like Akane and the one on the right looked like Ranchan.  
  
"Ah! My fiery tigress. Come to me so that, we might make beautiful music together," Freakazoid said in a perfect imitation of Kuno's voice. The Akane hand puppet impacted with Freakazoid's head knocking it to his right. The blue face ending up staring at the Ranchan puppet. "Ah! My pig-tailed goddess come with me so that we begin the wooing." The Ranchan puppet then impacted with his head. "I can't choose. I must have them both," he yelled before attempting to kiss both hand puppets. Freakazoid was knocked back several feet as both puppets impacted loudly with his blue skull. He then stood up and bowed to the small crowd that had formed. "I'll be here until Thursday," Freakazoid declared striking a muscle pose.  
  
"This outrage has gone on long enough," Kuno bellowed as his battle aura erupted. "I will not be mocked in such a fashion." He then stops ranting, when he notices Freakazoid roasting a marshmallow off of his battle aura.  
  
"What do you want one," Freakazoid said brandishing the partially melted marshmallow in Kuno's face.  
  
"No," Kuno yelled as his boken impacted with the stick supporting the marshmallow! The mash of melted marshmallow rose in a step arc before falling on Kuno's face.  
  
"Ah!!! It burns," a blind Kuno yelled before running out of the school's front gate.  
  
"Having vanquished the villain. Our hero exits stage left," Freakazoid declared before skipping into the school.   
  
  
Announcer: And now for something completely different.... Sorry, I have just been informed that actors required for the Monty Python bit are missing and presumed dead. We will now return back to the show in progress.  
  
At the Nerima medical center the nurse finished removing the last of the duct tape from Genma. The last piece took Genma's eyebrows and filled caused the bald martial artist to cry in pain. A minute a doctor entered the room and sat facing Genma.  
  
"Good morning. I am Doctor Nelson. I will be evaluating you today. Let me look at the chart... Hmm... So Mr. Saotome," the doctor began. "How long have you been seeing this 'blue man'?"  
  
"Just this morning," Genma replied looking around the room neverously.  
  
"Have you been under a lot of stress recently," the doctor inquired? "Why don't you tell me about you life the last few months."  
  
Thirty minutes later the doctor skims over his notes. "So you are currently separate from your wife, living with another man, tortured by a miget, and occasionally turn into an animal." The doctor silently triggers a switch under his desk. "Would you care for some water?"  
  
"Yes, " Genma replied as he drinks the cup of water.  
  
"Don't worry sir, we can help you."  
  
"Help me," Genma asks? His body quickly becomes numb as the drug in the water takes effect.  
  
Ten minutes later a heavily sedated Genma in a staight jacket is locked into a padded room.   
  
Announcer: Elsewhere....  
  
Back at the Tendo Dojo, evening was approaching. And Akane was wandering around the house with a pot of something, that she liked to call food. "Ranma, I've cooked something for you." She yelled as she wandered around the Tendo household.  
  
Elsewhere Ranma shuddered at hearing those words a second before an evil smile came to his face. "Freak out," he yelled laughing!  
  
A minute later a confused Akane stood holding a book entitled 'Boiling Water for Dummies" and wondered what had happened to her pot of chili. As a blue bolt of lighting streaked into the night as Freakazoid began searching for his special friend.  
  
Happosai sat on a rooftop with a bag full of female underwear like a twisted version of Santa Claus cataloging his new acquisitions. On a nearby rooftop a figure threw something into the air before bounding toward's Happosai.  
  
"Excuse me," a voice said startling the old man.  
  
"What do you want," Happosai asked staring at the strange blue figure?"  
  
"What are you doing," Freakazoid asked?  
  
"Cataloging my collection," the old pervert replied suspiciously.  
  
"Why," Freakazoid asked?  
  
"It relaxes me," the old man replied.  
  
"Why," Freakazoid asked?  
  
"Because it does," the ancient master responded.  
  
"Why," Freakazoid asked?  
  
"Because I'm a old pervert, who gets off on this. Does that offend you," Happosai yelled as he battle aura exploded!  
  
"Oh! Okay. I love you. Bye bye," the blue-man replied before bounding off into the night.  
  
"Damn, punk kids painting themselves weird colors." He muttered to himself before turning back to his collection. As distracted as the old pervert was he failed to notice a slowly increasing whistling sound. The large stew pot containing Akane's 'food' landed on the surprised pervert covering him whole.  
  
Several seconds later the night sky over Nerima was peirced by the cries of an ancient pervert screaming, "It burns!!!"   
  
Announcer: Back at the Nerima medical center....  
  
"I am not crazy," Genma bellow through the slot in his door.  
  
"Of course not, we're the insane ones." A voice said behind him. Genma slowly turns and finds the blue man in tights behind him. "Let's wrestle," Freakazoid says before advancing on Genma.  
  
Thirty minutes later when the guard checked on the inmates. Genma was found upside down in one corner and covered in bruises. "Don't let the blue man get me," he yelled at seeing the Guard. Genma Saotome is was quickly prescribed sedatives to prevent further violent episodes.   
  
Announcer: And the next morning at the Tendo house Ranma slept better, than he had in years. Until...  
  
  
  
"Ranma wake up or you're going to late!" Akane yelled before storming down the hall. A disgruntled Ran-chan in a now transparent T-shirt slowly got up and stretched showing her enormous....  
  
A flash of light filled the room as Freakazoid appeared in Ranma's place. "That was shallow, cheap, and based solely on hormones. ...Works for me!" Another flash of light occurred and a male Ranma walked out of the room.   
  
On the way to school Ranma was separated from Akane after Shampoo and Ryouga arrived separately. Ten minutes later Ranma had finally lost Ryouga and transformed into Freakazoid to make it to school on time. A blue streak of lighting ran through Nerima and quickly approached Furinken high.   
  
"Help," a voice said surprising Freakazoid.  
  
Freakazoid came to a halt and began looking around the deserted street. "Hello," he said.  
  
"Down here," the voice called.  
  
Freakazoid looked down an found an open man-hole in the road next to him. "You okay?"  
  
"No. I'm stuck in the sewer," the voice responded. "You going to help me or not."   
  
"Have no fear Freakazoid is here," Freakazoid declared dramatically! "You sure, you can't get out." He added in a normal tone of voice.  
  
"Just give me a hand," the voice responded.  
  
"No. I can't stand the smell of poo gas," Freakazoid said peering in the hole.  
  
"Superman would do it," the voice responded.  
  
"Well, he's not here," Freakazoid said stomping his foot.   
  
" Could you go get him," the voice inquired?  
  
Freakazoid looked at his watch and exclaimed. "I'm late." He then turned to the hole and said, "I'll come back for you later." He then disappeared down the street running for Furinken high.   
  
  
Announcer: Elsewhere evil forces were at work.  
  
Voice 02: Ha ha ha! My invention will render the world powerless against me!   
  
Voice 03: Uh, how, boss?   
  
Voice 02: It just will, okay?!!?   
  
Announcer: I never claimed they were smart.  
  
End Chapter 01: 


	2. Chapter 2

Ranma Freaked Out 05-01-01 Update 10-24-02 By Madcat08  
  
Sound [Clarification] {Author's Note}  
  
Ranma 1/2 is owned by other people and I will earn no profit from their creation. Freakazoid is owned by Steven Speilburg (all hail his grandeur). I will earn nothing off his creation.  
  
You unlock the key of stupidity. Beyond it is another dimension - a dimension not only of sight and sound but also of insanity. There is a fifth dimension beyond that which Is known to man and owned by Steven Speilburg. It is a dimension as vast as space and timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between something and something else, between anime and the internet, and it lies between Furinken High School and the Cat Cafe. You're about to enter into a land held together with lots and lots of duck tape. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of yellow danger tape. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone !!  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
Announcer: And now for the rest of the story.  
  
"Where is Ranma," Nabiki thought to herself as she stared out of the second story window? "Akane showed up five minutes ago and looking a bit flustered. Forty percent chance of Ranma saying something stupid and a fifty percent chance of another fiancée showing up this morning. And a ten percent chance of something completely unexpected has occurred."  
  
She watched as a blue streak of lighting stopped in the schoolyard. "Now cue the idiot," she thought to herself as she watched Kuno challenge the blue stranger. She turned to her cronies, "get a picture. We can sell the negative to Kuno later."  
  
Super Wedgee!  
  
"That's gotta hurt. But where is Ranma," she asked herself? "And what odds should I give a fight between the weirdo and Ranma," she thought to herself as she sat down at her desk.  
  
Later at lunch.  
  
"I finally get a chance to relax." Ranma said as he opened his bento. His meal was quickly disturbed by a shadow covering his bento. "Oh. Hi Nabs," Ranma said before returning to his meal.  
  
Nabiki glared at him before speaking. "So who is the blue guy," Nabiki asked?  
  
"Why are you asking me," Ranma asked between mouthfuls?  
  
"Because ever strange person, who arrives in Nerima eventually wants to kill you or marry you. So do you know him," she asked again in a frosty tone.  
  
"I'll tell you what I know. If you knock 5000 yen off my tab," Ranma replied finishing his bento.  
  
"I don't think so Ranma," Nabiki replied. "You know I can make your life hell."  
  
"Really," Ranma replied. "I doubt that. My life is already a mess. If you stir up anymore you put your family in danger. Not to mention the property damage to your house."  
  
"Fine Saotome. You had your chance," Nabiki replied as she turned away.  
  
"Oh Nabs." Ranma said behind her. "Here's the 20,000 yen I owe you."  
  
"What," Nabiki asked in shock as she turned around?  
  
"Here," he said handing her a wad of money. "Now I believe my tab is paid in full." The bell interrupted Nabiki's reply. "Pardon me fair lady I must run," he said imitating Kuno before walking off.  
  
Nabiki quickly counted the money and hid it in her purse. "He's hiding something," she thought to herself. She quickly headed back to class only pausing long enough to confer with some of her underlings.  
  
Meanwhile in an abandoned factory complex on the outskirts of Tokyo..  
  
A thin figure dressed in a stained white apron was hunched over a workbench in concentration. "The laughed at me. The fools. We will have our revenge. Oh yes we shall. They shall rue the day they heard the name of Hikaru Gosunkugi Furinken high will feel my fury. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. coughing Hahahahahaha. coughing Damn allegeries."  
  
Fade out to a commercial.  
  
"Hi folks!" Freakazoid says. "Welcome to the Freakazoid challenge. Today we are going to replace Ryouga's normal coffee with some industrial strength prozac. Now lets watch the results."  
  
"Ranma Saotome," Ryouga cries. "Prepare to experience mild discomfort."  
  
"Fascinating isn't it folks," Freakazoid says. "Tune in tomorrow when we replace Kasumi's herbal tea with some Amazon love potion."  
  
Now back to our show.  
  
Meanwhile in a abandoned factory complex.  
  
The skinny figure of Hikaru Gosunkugi stood in a bare concrete room that was dimly lit by a single bare light bulb. In one corner a massive creature sat in the darkness. "It is time to for my revenge. Go my pet. Go retrieve my one true love. And let nothing stand in your way. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. coughing Hahahahahaha. coughing Damn allegories!" The massive creature moved silently in the darkness with light dimly reflected off its massive teeth.  
  
Elsewhere.  
  
Ranma returns to the Tendo and is immediately grabbed by two fathers. "Hi pop. What's up," Ranma inquired?  
  
"Akane's been kidnapped," Genma yelled shacking Ranma.  
  
"So," Ranma asked?  
  
Genma was thrown aside as Soun grabbed him by his collar and yelled at him. "You will save Akane. You must," Soun cried as he threatened to drown the household.  
  
"Fine. Who took her," he asked? The two fathers finally shut up and scratched their heads. "What happened then?"  
  
"My sister was kidnapped by a giant hamster." Nabiki added as she read the evening newspaper.  
  
"A hamster? Well only one person can help us." Ranma said stroking his chin.  
  
"Who," Kasumi asked?  
  
"A rat exterminator," Ranma replied. "And now I'm going to sleep," he said before heading upstairs.  
  
The sounds of intense violence were heard through Nerima before a slightly bruised Ranma landed in the back yard. "And don't come back without her," Genma yelled sliding the door shut. Genma turned back to Soun and asked, "you feel up to a game of Go?"  
  
"Of course Genma," Soun replied.  
  
Later that evening .  
  
Freakazoid is patrolling the rooftops of Nerima, when a tiny green figure lands on the rooftop in front of him. "So we meet again," the tiny figure hisses.  
  
Freakazoid ask as his eyes get incredible large as he looks at the figure. "Its Yoda," the blue man screams before grabbing Happosai in a bone crushing hug. "Aren't you a cute little muppet. Oh. Yes, you are."  
  
Happosai finally breaks free and takes a fighting stance on the other side of the rooftop. "No its me. Happosai. For turning me green I will have my revenge," the ancient Master yells.  
  
"Did I do that," Freakazoid asks rubbing his chin? "Oh. You mean Akane's cooking did that?"  
  
"Shut up and die," Happosai yelled before charging Ranma.  
  
"Sorry, I got to run!" Freakazoid yells before disappearing in a bolt of lighting.  
  
"You can run, but you can't hide," Happosai yelled. A tapping on Happosai's shoulder stopped him in mid rant. Happosai turned around and found three cherubs like figures floating in the air on stubby white wings.  
  
"Excuse me sir, we are the auditors of reality." The three tiny figures said together. "You have been found guilty of using an A-Class cliché phrase. Prepare for punishment."  
  
"What," Happosai manages to say before a large anvil lands on him.  
  
"Now that's settled it's Miller time," one of the cherubs says. Seconds later an anvil hits the cherub.  
  
"Now that he had coming," a second cherub says. The tiny figure quickly covers its mouth and looks up. A third anvil lands on the second cherub.  
  
The third cherub sighs and pulls a garbage bag from sub-space and scraps up his two companions.  
  
Fade to commercial.  
  
Announcer: "Next time on Freakazoid, we will explore the world of young female gangs."  
  
"Is it true, that you young ladies run around at night dressed like a pedophiles wet dream," Freakazoid asks the inner senshi? "Is it also true that you young ladies have often been seem with a strangely dressed man. Is that man your pimp?"  
  
"It's not like that," Rei say jumping to her feet.  
  
"Mamoru is not a pimp," Usagi cries in the background.  
  
"Oh really," Freakazoid replies. "Well your parents back stage think so. And I'm sure they will have some words for you."  
  
"Don't worry we'll get to them later. But first, I have one question. Is it true that the Sailor Senshi, the self-proclaimed defenders of love and justice, are planning on allowing an ice age to destroy the current world? For the express purposes of establishing a so called 'Crystal Tokyo' in the future," Freakazoid asks? A future world ruled by a monarchy with the surviving people of the world brainwashed as mindless drones?"  
  
"That's not true," Usagi said crying. "We only want to create a better world!"  
  
"Really," Freakazoid replies. "I believe Hilter had a similar dream. One that he intended to build on the bodies of his enemies. Are you saying that you different from the most hated man in history? Do you really think your ends justify the means?  
  
"And now lets introduce our first mystery guests," Freakazoid say facing the camera before the Senshi can reply. "All the way from Jubaan is Rei's grandfather!"  
  
A short old man in Shinto robes stormed onto the stage and threw himself into a chair on stage.  
  
"Anything that you would like to tell your daughter," Freakazoid asked?  
  
"In the name of our family's honor, I am going to exercise my granddaughter of the evil that must be possessing her." The short priest replied angrily staring at his granddaughter.  
  
"How do you plan to do that," Freakazoid asks?  
  
"With this," the old man replied as he pulled an object from his robes. "Prepare to face the School of Hard Knocks exercorism method." With that the old man jumps out of his chair and charges his granddaughter with a baseball bat covered in wards.  
  
"Now Usagi," Freakazoid continued ignoring the tiny man chasing his granddaughter off the stage. "We have your parents!'  
  
"Your grounded until your thirty," Usagi's father yelled as he walked on stage. "No daughter of mine is going to be a whore or a dictator. And how could you lie to your family about those late study groups. You were probably running around the streets of Tokyo with your pimp.  
  
"Daughter how could you," her mother cried as she came on stage. "Not only is my daughter planning on letting most of the world die, she also is whoring herself on the streets of Tokyo! How could she embarrass her family this way," Usagi's mother continued wailing.  
  
Announcer: "That's next time on Freakazoid."  
  
Elsewhere.  
  
"My precious Akane, I hope my pet didn't disturb you?" Hikaru Gosunkugi inquired. As he finished tying a series of knots in the ropes binding Akane to a wooden chair.  
  
"Who are you," Akane asked her captor?  
  
"You don't remember me," Gosunkugi stated.  
  
"No, I can't say I do." Akane answered in a bored tone. "So what type of martial arts do you pratice?"  
  
"Um. Actually none," Gosunkugi replied scratching his head. "But it dosen't matter. You soon will love me," Hikaru declared!  
  
"Right. I think there is something you should know," Akane replied calmly.  
  
"What's that," Gos inquired?  
  
Snap  
  
"I'm strong enough to break some stupid ropes," Akane said as she broke free.  
  
"Is it too late to say I'm sorry?"  
  
"Yes," Akane replied cracking her knuckles.  
  
Snap  
  
Crackle  
  
Pop  
  
"Now if you ever try to kidnap me again. I'll really lose my temper." Akane said to Gos.  
  
"It will not happen again," the pretzel formerly known as Gos replied. "Also I don't like rats," she screamed before malleting the giant hamster. In the background a shadow can be seen approaching the dirty plate glass window making up the rear wall of the room.  
  
Crash  
  
"Don't worry! I'll save you," Freakazoid declares jumping through the window. He runs across the room and grabs the chair. "How dare you treat an antique like this! Don't worry little fellow, I'll get you to a doctor in time!" With that Freakazoid runs out of the room with the chair.  
  
Several seconds later Ranma enters the room holding a paper bag. "Hey Akane. Who was that blue man?" Ranma asks before pulling a hamburger from a paper bag.  
  
"Who care. He's probably some member of the Kuno family," Akane replied. "Where did you get that," Akane screams pointing at the hamburger?  
  
"I found a great hamburger joint in Jubaan."  
  
"I was kidnapped and you stopped for a hamburger!" Akane declared as she pulled a hammer from hammer-space.  
  
Thud  
  
"Jerk," Akane says walking away leaving Ranma under a mallet.  
  
Squeek  
  
"I hear you buddy." Ranma replies to the large hamster.  
  
Elsewhere..  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen tomorrow we will implement our plan called 'Living Hell'." Nabiki said addressing several unseen people. In the background a picture of Ranma Saotome was visible among several diagrams.  
  
  
  
Announcer: Be sure to read the next exciting chapter. Ranma will get a sidekick, gain a new villian, and face the wrath of Nabiki Tendo. 


End file.
